(Old blog posts can be found at my old site:
Oh yes–I’m still at it. I can’t resist passing on the latest spontaneous golf lesson I had from yet another male golfer I didn’t know. Here’s the tip off that this tip was going to be unusual: “Now, I don’t want you to think I’m being fresh……..”
(Red light begins flashing in brain to keep at least 2 golf cart distances from this golfer)
“All you gals don’t get enough distance because you don’t know how to use the strength you have! You need to stiffen your arms and–excuse me–SQUEEZE your boobs together. Make some real cleavage. Then you’ll get some distance. Now show me!”
Oh well, what did I have to lose? The question should have been, “What did the helper have to gain?” So, I stiffened up my arms, pushed “the girls” nearly out of my scooped neckline shirt and immediately became stuck in a position that prevented any backswing at all. If the goal is to keep the cleavage coming, a backswing is impossible. Once the left elbow passes over the left cup the cleavage gets decidedly misplaced.
Hmmmmmm–is he serious? After all, “the girls” have gotten in my way before. I remember taking an archery class back in college–the sports activity with the least amount of sweating and smallest chance of breaking a nail. (I was wrong on both counts.) I broke a sweat every time the coach told us to straighten up, pull back on that dang bowstring and let’er rip. “The girls” broke a sweat too.
Thinking that perhaps this “lesson” was more for the benefit of the other men in the foursome and less for improving my distance I asked to play through. Of course once I was alone on the course I spent the rest of the round trying to increase distance through maximizing cleavage. Some version of this idea has merit–I eventually started to get a bit more distance. Why, I think my drives went from 80 yards to maybe even 100 yards! The old geezer was on to something. Maybe the next piece of golf equipment I need to get is a custom sports bra! And here I was thinking hips and shoulders and not forgetting I was playing golf had something to do with my swing! The Squeeze Play indeed.